According to report reaching oyogist.com, a lady has insisted that everyone in Lagos is poor and are pretending to be rich.
The lady named @cremechic on twitter disclosed her displeasure in a thread of tweets.
The tweets read: “Classy” in Lagos is basically spending money on overpriced rubbish food, overpriced local designers and wearing garish, overused designer items. Never mind they’re eating “cooked sushi” and goat meat stew labeled “mutton curry”
“Theeeeeeeeeeee Wholeeeeeeeeeee GHETTTOOOOOOOO! High fashion designer but you want me to be trying on your clothes in the heat. Yuuuuuuuuuckkkk! Elite pastry shop and you can’t even get the names of your customers right. At least make people feel happy about spending top dollar on your nonsense, mba! The ghetttaeuxxx!”
“I mean Cilantro served us something I could’ve sworn was a half done oily pancake and called it butter naan. Yeah, yuuuuccckkkk! Next time you go to a Lagos restaurant, just pity yourself and order local cuisine, jollof rice or pounded yam and afang soup. You’ll have better value for your money, I promise you.”
Oh let’s talk about cocktails. What half rate bartender doesn’t know what a Gin Cosmo is? If e no be mojito and Long Island iced tea, just pity yourself and order a G&T (they will give you Gordon’s or Bombay) or a few shots of whiskey on ice. Again, yuuuuuuuccccckkkkk!”
“Lagos after Christmas holidays is an eye opener. Goshhhhh! Who swore for Lagosians and said you must all wear the same thing, do the same wig, smell the same akworo akwo mix of oud and drink the same things? What in the folo folo school uniformity is happening in Lagos bikonu?”
“Let’s talk about hotels. Why will anyone pay $180 a night for shitty service and a faulty AC? What is all the brown design in hotels nowadays? Who cursed these people please?”
“I’m serious, Lagos hotels are designed to make you feel like you’re in a sex dungeon. Everywhere is dark with excessive mood lighting. It’s like y’all heathens don’t want to see the sun or any semblance of brightness make God no smite y’all cheating asses. Maybe I understand”
“Ehen I’ve remembered more. Why do I have to be a “somebody” to get decent treatment from just about any lagosian? The number of name dropping in this bloody hamlet is just ridiculous. Na why scammers plenty. SMH!”
“Let nobody deceive you, the only “fun” in Lagos is eating and fucking. SMH! And in all these, they still manage to pretend to fear God! Omo! Lagosians deserve an Oscar”
“Let’s not talk about the filth in Lagos. From physical dirt all over the place, to smelly “high brow” areas to multi drug resistant microorganisms that abound in the place, Lagos is a dustbin.”
Oh let me even gist you. Lagos customs are what? MAGICIANS! Because how all my hair tools and hair pieces & a few bags and more I don’t know yet because we still dey unpack went missing from my haulage to Naija is a mystery. All without appearing to tamper with the packing!”
“Ah yes, Lagos drivers! Do I really need to say more? Anyways I crase pass dem so let me talk softly. Please easy with the horn. Now I don’t know if someone is horning behind me or I have tinnitus (ringing ears), I’ve spoken enough about Lagos dispatch riders.”
” The main authors and perpetrators of confusion. They would rather die in the most gruesome way than read the address. Once they see someone willing to receive your package, they’ve handed it over and moved. It doesn’t have to be u”
“If you don’t know people in Lagos, life is extremely hard. Because delivery services will mess you up, Bolt driver will not carry u if it not a cash trip and traffic will kill the will of anyone who tries to go out of their way to help u. The decent places are members only too!”
“Let me tell how I paid twice the regular fee in the name of VIP to see a play. People of God, the only difference in regular & VIP was that they used white seat covers & gave us hot Hi-Malt & biscuit. They didn’t even give us a bag to put the refreshments. That was for VVIP”
