Tragic Story of Artist James Self: A Victim of Male Domestic Abuse

The Devastating Impact of Domestic Violence on James Self

James Self, a gifted artist aged 47, endured unimaginable torment at the hands of his abusive girlfriend, Polly Murphy. The harrowing images of James, bruised and battered, reveal the severe physical and emotional abuse he suffered before succumbing to his injuries weeks later. Polly’s relentless control included confiscating his phone and isolating him from loved ones, culminating in a brutal assault that ultimately claimed his life.

The Final Attack: A Two-Hour Ordeal

On November 8, 2023, during a weekend getaway to Clacton-on-Sea, Essex, Polly unleashed a violent two-hour assault on James in a hotel room at Smugglers Cove. After James gave her a birthday gift, Polly’s rage erupted into a savage beating involving punches, kicks, and stomps. Shockingly, she left the scene with her luggage, abandoning James to suffer alone.

Delayed Help and Tragic Outcome

Despite the severity of James’ injuries, Polly waited 18 hours before calling emergency services, misleading operators to believe he had only a broken leg. When paramedics arrived, they found James severely beaten, with eight fractured ribs, extensive bruising, and internal injuries. After six weeks in hospital, James tragically passed away on December 21, 2023.

Polly Murphy was convicted of James’ murder on January 13, 2026, at Chelmsford Crown Court and sentenced to life imprisonment with a minimum term of 15 years on February 4, 2026.

Emotional Pleas and the Hidden Reality of Male Victims

In the days before his death, James sent heartfelt messages to his mother, Ashe Smith, expressing a desire to mend his relationship with Polly despite the abuse. “I want to fix things and make sure she’s OK,” he wrote. Ashe, 80, shared with Mirror UK the stigma James felt as a male victim of domestic violence, highlighting how shame and embarrassment prevented him from seeking help.

Ashe emphasized the often-overlooked prevalence of female-on-male domestic abuse, urging men to speak out: “Men find it so difficult to speak up. Men can come forward, and they should. There’s no shame in holding up your hand.”

Polly Murphy’s History and Manipulative Behavior

Polly Murphy had a prior conviction from 2009 for assault causing actual bodily harm against a former partner. Her final attack on James followed a birthday trip where she violently lashed out after receiving a gift. The assault left James with severe injuries, including a brain bleed and multiple broken ribs.

Instead of seeking help, Polly fled the hotel room and fabricated stories to conceal her actions. Paramedics described the scene as “blood everywhere” — on walls, floors, ceilings, and bedding. James told them, “No, she’s been hitting me – it was one-sided and I didn’t retaliate.”

Ashe described Polly as “completely devoid of empathy,” recounting how she left James severely injured and then engaged in casual activities like buying alcohol and messaging an ex-boyfriend.

Psychological Abuse Revealed Through Text Messages

During the investigation, police uncovered over 20,000 text messages exposing the psychological torment Polly inflicted on James. These messages revealed a pattern of manipulation and threats, including a chilling warning just a month before the fatal attack: “I will hunt you and kill you. If I ever see you again, I will kill you.”

Ashe reflected on the emotional toll of the verbal abuse, noting how Polly’s manipulation made James feel responsible for the problems in their relationship, a common tactic in abusive dynamics.

James’ Unwavering Love Despite Abuse

Even as he lay hospitalized, James pleaded with authorities not to prosecute Polly, referring to her as “my ex-girlfriend now.” His love and hope for reconciliation persisted until his final moments.

Life and Legacy of James Self

James was a talented artist whose work was featured internationally, including in Time Out magazine. After being discharged from the hospital, he quickly deteriorated, falling into a coma before passing away.

Ashe fondly remembers their 47 years together, expressing gratitude for the joy James brought to their lives despite the tragedy.

The Beginning of a Troubled Relationship

James met Polly in April 2023, when she was 16 and he worked in prestigious London stores designing window displays alongside her mother. Their relationship blossomed after attending a friend’s memorial, united by shared artistic and cultural interests.

Initially, Ashe was hopeful about their connection, but Polly’s controlling nature soon became apparent during a visit to James’ family home. Polly’s incessant talking and attempts to isolate James, including pressuring him to give up his beloved dog, signaled early warning signs of abuse.

Gradual Isolation and Escalating Abuse

Throughout the summer of 2023, James maintained daily contact with his mother, but friends noticed his growing withdrawal and sadness. He confided that Polly’s jealousy and unpredictable temper made life difficult, yet his love for her kept him committed.

Weeks before the fatal assault, Polly confiscated James’ phone, returning it only after throwing it at him without the SIM card, causing a painful injury. She also imposed a vegan diet and exploited his struggles with alcohol as means of control, denying their relationship publicly to further isolate him.

A Mother’s Reflection and Call for Awareness

Ashe, an artist herself, expressed no hatred toward Polly despite the devastation. She even considered sending art supplies to her in prison. However, Ashe stresses the urgent need for education on domestic abuse, especially the “red flags” that can affect anyone regardless of gender.

“She has destroyed our lives, but she has destroyed hers too. There are no winners here,” Ashe said. “James was a kind, creative soul. We just wanted the truth to be acknowledged, and the jury did that. We are grateful.”