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Understanding Polygamy: A Nigerian Man’s Perspective on Marriage
A Nigerian gentleman, known as A B Rar, recently shared his rationale for taking a second wife, emphasizing that men are inherently inclined towards polygamy and that women should acknowledge this reality.
The Motivation Behind Taking a Second Wife
This revelation came in response to another man’s grievance about his wife invading his privacy by checking his phone. A B Rar explained that his decision to marry again was largely influenced by his first wife’s intense jealousy and possessiveness, which he felt restricted his freedom.
He stated, “To restore balance in our relationship, I married a second wife. Although my first wife was upset, she eventually accepted her sister into the family. Now, I enjoy more freedom without constant questioning or having to justify myself. Women need to understand that men are naturally polygamous.”
Expert Opinion: The Consequences of Polygamy for the Wrong Reasons
Marriage counselor Shamseddin Giwa responded critically to A B Rar’s justification, highlighting that marrying a second wife as a reaction to jealousy is misguided. Giwa pointed out that jealousy is a natural human emotion, and while it should be managed, it does not warrant such drastic measures.
He remarked, “If you question your motives, consider how the second wife feels about being brought into the marriage merely to appease the first wife’s jealousy. The so-called freedom you experience is actually a sign of emotional withdrawal from your spouses, not genuine liberty.”
Giwa further explained, “This situation should be a cause for concern rather than pride. Responsible husbandry involves accountability and nurturing your relationships. Contrary to popular belief, polygamy is a choice, not an innate biological imperative. It’s crucial to care for your wives and work towards healing the relationship.”
Polygamy in Contemporary Nigerian Society
Polygamous marriages remain a significant aspect of Nigerian culture, with approximately 28% of married men in certain regions practicing polygamy, according to recent demographic studies. However, the dynamics of such unions are complex and often influenced by social, economic, and personal factors.
For example, some men pursue polygamy to strengthen family ties or for cultural reasons, while others, like A B Rar, may do so as a response to marital challenges. Experts warn that without mutual respect and clear communication, polygamous relationships can lead to emotional distress and familial discord.
Visual Insight: A Glimpse into A B Rar’s Family Life
